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Secrets have been a controversial topic for an endless number of people. Since the dawn of time, secrets have caused fights, loss of trust, and even provided the reason for ending relationships. The main argument presented is that one person feels that the other has lied to them by keeping the secret. While this reason may be valid in some cases, can keeping secrets really be the same as lying?
Although lying can be caused by dark secrets, a secret is not technically considered a lie. Here’s why keeping a secret isn’t the same as lying:
1. Lying against. Keep a secret
Lying is the act of deliberately changing the truth for one’s own benefit, whether for the present or the future. Lies are told for many reasons, but whenever someone twists the truth in any way, it’s harder to tell the truth in the future. Sometimes lies can be hard to control because one lie is always followed by a second to cover it up.
With secrets, the truth can come out more easily because nothing was said to make the other person believe another side of the story. In most cases, no other story is needed to cover up the secrets, as long as no part of the secrets is brought up very often. The fewer people who know the secret, the better. With no lies to cover up the secret, the truth can be uncovered when the time is right.
2. Consideration for the other person
Usually, keeping secrets comes from a place of love or respect for the other person. Someone might not want to bother the other person with their own problems because they might consider it insignificant, or the other person might be going through a very difficult time. In TV shows like Gossip Girl, New Girl, and Friends, phrases like “I don’t want to bother them with this today” or “I will tomorrow” are very common when a character has to keep a secret from someone. one very close to them. Secrets normally come from wanting to protect something that is good. If the secret is dark enough, people can sometimes worry that their relationships will crumble. Therefore, the secret person tries to wait for the best time to break the news and hope for the best; not completely losing their base of trust with the one they care about.
The lie can sometimes come from the same place of love and respect for the other person, but not all the time. While the secret keeper considers how the other person will feel if they find out what they are hiding, the liar thinks about the consequences the same way, but hopes the secret will never be revealed. Lies come from a place of guilt, shame and regret in most cases. A lie is often used to protect someone else’s feelings and trust. Unlike a secret, if the secret is discovered after the first lie is concealed, the trust the other person has is more likely to be completely lost.
3. Optional Partners in Crime and Consequences
Although lying and secrets are two different concepts, they can often make a fantastic pair when it comes to sparing feelings. Secrets are sometimes the source of lies. It’s best not to tell secrets until an explanation can be provided, but sometimes an explanation may not be enough, especially if an interrogation of any kind is taking place. To avoid having to tell the truth, people try to hide the truth with lies so they don’t feel so bad in the future for what they did.
Quick fixes may seem good in the moment, but they’re not always the best in the long run. In any relationship, lies can create permanent damage to the foundation. The other person is less likely to fully trust you in the future and it may take forever to regain the trust that was lost after the impulsive decision. On the other hand, secrets have the possibility of losing trust, just like a lie, but the other person in the relationship is more likely to understand that there were no bad intentions associated with trying to tell them. protect as well as the relationship.
In the end, while lies and secrets can be fused together to create something extremely powerful and toxic, they are not the same thing when separated. They have most of the same intentions and possible consequences, but one is definitely better than the other when it comes to preserving a relationship and protecting another person.