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Entering a new relationship is a time of excitement, infatuation, and butterflies. Everything is new, the conversation is smooth, and the dates are cute (although still a little awkward). However, this stage can also turn out to be a stage of uncertainty.
In the midst of all this excitement, how likely are you to pause and wonder if you’re really ready for this relationship? It may seem easy to ignore, but this factor could decide whether you stay or separate with your partner in the future.
After a discussion with Oklahoma-based licensed therapist Jordan Green, she helped compile the following signs to indicate if you’re ready to take this step.
1. You settle for solo
Being satisfied with your own business is an essential step to take before entering into a relationship. Dependence on the company of others can set you up for failure, risking co-dependency and setting bad boundaries in your romantic relationships.
Signs that you have reached this stage…
If you have reached the stage where you are satisfied soloing, you will feel complete and confident in company and alone. Whether it’s a lazy Netflix Sunday or a weekend, you’re not only enjoying, but actively pursuing your own interests.
“You don’t feel like you need a relationship – you acknowledge that you are whole within yourself, you practice self-love and self-care, and you don’t try to fill a empty.” Jordan explains.
If you’ve been through a recent breakup, time truly is the best healer. One technique is to plan something pleasant to look forward to each day and keep your mind occupied. Once you no longer feel the need to distract yourself, you are probably satisfied with your own business.
2. You can go back to your past relationships without strong emotions.
Breakups can stir up a hurricane of emotions – anger, sadness, excitement and jealousy. You will likely feel a range of emotions at different stages of grieving for your past relationship. It’s completely healthy, and while you don’t always have to act on your emotions, acknowledging them can help you get over the breakup faster.
Signs that you have reached this stage.
“You let go of your past relationships,” Jordan explains, “you cried and processed the remnants of anger, guilt, sadness, and resentment. You don’t think about assumptions.
When you can look back on your past relationship and not feel any strong emotions, it’s a sign that you’re really ready to move on. Forgiveness is a positive sign that you have reached this stage, however, it is not always necessary if you are able to move on through acceptance.
3. You kissed some frogs
Most people have kissed a few frogs in their lifetime, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. After all, exes are exes for a reason! Having these experiences allows you to develop boundaries and the confidence to end relationships if they become unhealthy.
Signs that you have reached this stage
“You are clear about what you want in a relationship. You know your limits and your breaking factors. said Jordan. You feel confident in your judgment and you feel comfortable enforcing the boundaries you have developed. Which leads to…
4. You know what you’re looking for in your next partner.
When you’ve kissed your share of frogs, you develop a list of what you don’t want in a romantic partner. However, another sign that you are ready to enter into a new relationship is that you have a positive mindset towards future relationships. Maybe you like someone who has similar interests to yours, or maybe something more general, like generosity or trust.
Signs that you have reached this stage…
There are positive traits you have in mind when thinking about meeting your next partner. It could be traits you found attractive in an ex or a trait your former partners lacked, either way, you know what to look for in your next relationship.
Jordan points to achieving a positive attitude as a sign that you’re ready to move on: “You’re excited to be dating again and finding other people attractive. You don’t think about your ex all the time.
5. You have direction and focus in your life.
Direction and focus are two essential elements for personal growth. Developing a strong sense of self and personal goals to achieve reduces the risk of co-dependency when entering a new relationship.
Signs that you have reached this stage…
You have your own goals, which may be related to your career, your studies or your physical condition. These goals are something you are passionate about and willing to commit time to. When you reach this stage, your self-esteem will naturally increase and you will develop a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Not only are these beneficial for your mental well-being, but also for the quality of the relationships you can form. “You are ready to focus on giving love rather than receiving. You know what you have to offer and you are happy to give it away! said Jordan.
6. You feel comfortable and safe in your sexuality
Entering a relationship at a stage where you don’t feel comfortable or secure in your sexuality could prove to be unfair to you and your partner. It is important to be open and honest in your communication with others and with yourself. There’s no rush to find a long-term partner to settle down with! If you feel the urge to date and experiment, that’s something you should try to do first.
Signs that you have reached this stage…
Entering a long-term relationship shouldn’t feel intimidating if you’re ready – spending time with your partner should feel natural and enjoyable. Basically, Jordan suggests, “You’re ready to communicate, to be open and vulnerable, and to connect deeply with someone new.”
Be honest with yourself and if you need more single time, do it.
Whether or not you are ready to enter into a new relationship is a decision that only you can make. The most important thing to remember is to stay honest – with yourself and your potential partners. Being ready to enter into a relationship is the best way to ensure its future success.
Image credit: Online for love