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Being involved in a “boy” friendship is exciting and fun. Having a guy as a friend gives you plenty of opportunities to step out of your comfort zone and connect with someone on a deeper level.
However, there can be downsides to having a girl-guy friendship.
Not everyone is aware of what they are getting into when they decide to have a friendship with a guy. You may know what that person looks like, but inevitably the more you get to know a person, the more you will learn about them.
So with that in mind, here are 5 downsides to being friends with a guy!
1. You end up having feelings
The most divisive thing that comes out of a man-girl friendship is developing romantic feelings for your friend. In some ways, this can be awesome – at least you can guarantee your crush knows you exist!
On the other hand, it can feel so awkward to end up having feelings for your best friend. If you do decide to do this, taking the next step and confessing your feelings to him can be tricky. Some people don’t want to think about telling them because they’re afraid of being disappointed or causing strain in the friendship. It’s hard to tell someone you have feelings for them, especially when the two of you have a history of friendship together.
On some occasions, confessing your feelings to your male best friend could pay off. They might feel the same, and then the friendship can blossom into what you hope for. However, for some, they may think prevention is better than cure. Personally, I know I would never want to risk losing a friend to feelings of attraction that might not be reciprocated.
I admit that I once had feelings for my friend. I’ve never been good at expressing my feelings; I prefer to just “feel” them, if that makes sense.
It’s such a hard thing to go through because you don’t want to have feelings for them. However, at the same time, you just do it and can’t explain how you feel, which I guess is the worst part of feelings. In the end, I never act on my feelings because I always come to the same conclusion: I’d rather have my friend as my best friend, than lose a friend in a relationship.
2. Awkwardness and tension
Disagreements are common in all friendships.
Even if there are no arguments that you remember, some things that are said and done in a friendship can be misinterpreted. This can cause awkwardness in friendship. If it’s something embarrassing that you said or someone else said, it’s best to let it go and forget it. It makes things much worse if you keep talking about it. It also makes other members of the friend group feel uncomfortable.
However, if it’s something embarrassing that you or someone else did, it’s best to talk about it with the person who made you feel uncomfortable. If you know it bothers you and the other person, talk about it. Nothing is worse than not saying anything to this person and being awkward with them. It just seems to make the situation worse.
Most friendships go through awkward phases and there will be moments full of tension, but the good outweighs the bad. People in friendship tend to move on from that awkward moment and forget about it.
I’ve been through so many awkward moments before in my friendship.
When I say something that I instantly regret saying, I always worry that it will change the dynamic of the friendship. Sometimes they say or do something that makes me feel uncomfortable and uneasy.
What solves this awkward moment is simply changing the subject or talking about something else. I’ve said and done so many stupid things in my friendships with my friends. I tend to overthink things most of the time, which is such a hard habit to break. What makes it easier is having those male friends who help you forget those weird phases you went through when you were younger that make you cringe.
Having these people to help you move on from something that was once inconvenient is so nice to have.
3. Overprotective
Being overprotective can sometimes be nice because it shows that you actually care about the other person.
However, what confuses people is the context in which it is used. Are you overprotective because you’re a friend who truly cares and wants the best for him, or are you overprotective because of something else? Girls can be overprotective for many reasons; ego, jealousy, personality, past friendships/relationships.
There’s a fine line between being overprotective as a friend and overprotective as something else. The context in which protection is used really depends on the people involved in the friendship.
I hate to admit it because it’s my worst friendship flaw, but I’d definitely say I’m the overprotective one.
I hate seeing my best friend get hurt, especially if he’s been hurt multiple times. It really hurts me when he comes to me feeling hopeless and sad. I feel like I’m picking up the pieces, just for something better to happen. What I always fear is that he will get injured again. I try my best to be supportive, but inside it’s so hard to keep my cool and let go.
Sometimes you have to let those you love hurt themselves so they can understand why they went through this. I know he will become a better person because of what he has been through. With every obstacle and challenge there is triumph. Although my heart hurts when it’s hurt, I know I’ll be happier knowing it’ll come out stronger.
4. Jealousy
It is completely normal to develop feelings of jealousy, and it will happen sooner or later.
When you get really close to your best friend, you can’t help but be overprotective. Sometimes you can misinterpret feelings of jealousy with being protective. You feel like you’re doing the right thing by being protective, but that’s not really happening. You then begin to realize the signs of jealousy. I know most girls say they’re fine if their friend has other friends who are girls, but really? I mean who wasn’t jealous when he saw his best friend hanging out with other girls.
At the end of the day, we all just want to feel like we’re actually valued in our friendships with guys. It’s also a bit difficult when you see another girl who is not in your friend group hanging out with him.
The same goes for guys, sometimes they think they’re protective when they don’t want to admit they might feel jealous.
It’s normal to feel like this, and there’s nothing to worry about. Small feelings and thoughts of jealousy are what make a girl-guy friendship different. However, if it continues, it’s probably best to talk about it with your friend. It’s not good to keep feelings hidden, especially in a friendship. I think the best thing to come out of jealousy is for the other person to understand that you had good intentions and were trying to be protective.
I’m guilty of being jealous and it bothers me so much because all my friends know I’m not one to be jealous.
I know most people see jealousy as a negative thing in a friendship.
However, if we’re really honest, everyone has been jealous at some point in their lives. Nobody is perfect. Jealousy is real and raw and it’s what makes us human. I now realize that being jealous in a friendship is such a toxic trait, and I never want to be or feel that way towards the people I love and care about. I want to be happy for my best friend’s successes, triumphs, victories and achievements. I never want to take that feeling away from them by being jealous.
When I realize I’m jealous, I’m disappointed in myself that I can feel that way towards the people I call my friends. So I back off and try to be positive and happy for them, and not ruin their moment with my jealous and selfish thoughts.
5. Being led (or leading someone)
Going through a friendship where feelings are not reciprocated is very awkward and can feel humiliating. You never want to hear “Oh, I just thought of us as friends” or “I just want to be your friend” when you clearly feel something different about that person.
Sometimes these things could potentially end a friendship. I believe being led or led by someone can be the most heartbreaking thing that can come out of a friendship between men and women. It can get even more complicated when you or someone else has an attractive personality. It’s very difficult for this person to understand if it’s just your personality or if you’re flirting with them on purpose.
I have male friends who have flirtatious personalities, and sometimes I feel like they’re acting flirtatious when they really aren’t. It’s so complicated to decipher if a guy is flirting or if it’s just his personality.
Whenever I feel like someone is flirting with me, I just try to be distant with them and I know that’s not the best advice to give. What I mean by being distant is spending time with friends other than that attractive person, or just trying to talk to them less. If I know someone who shows mixed signals and is difficult, I really try to make time for them. I try not to get involved with someone who is unclear and certainly complicated.
Some people prefer to play hard to get, and some don’t. It really is a matter of preference. In the end, this is just an opinion, not really something you should do.
Conclusion
If you ever feel conflicted about where you stand in your friendship with your best friend, ask and talk about it.
I believe the main reason friendships become so awkward and complicated is lack of communication. If you really care about someone, work hard to keep that friendship strong. You need to be able to communicate with them, even if it means putting your thoughts and feelings on the line.
Friendship is easy, but sometimes it can also be a risk. Sometimes the risk pays off and you develop such a close friendship with someone you love so much that you would do anything for them because it shows how much you love them.
It’s the type of love where you wish nothing but the best for them, even if you’re not into it.